If we were to analyse our decision making concept , you will find that we think on the after-effects(outcomes) of the decision and hence this influences one's choice in deciding to choose the path that one will take. So in a nutshell, we decide based on outcomes and eventually an outcome will become an event and an event will eventually become a fact- unfortunately facts cannot be changed.
What do you do when the outcome does not come to your liking or is not close to your expectation?
Lament over it?
Wished you never had made that decision ? Wished that the outcome can change?
Outcomes can’t be changed, we merely adapt to it and make it easier to live with the issue hence making the unbearable situation a "soft landing” Since the outcome cannot be changed, we often blame our perceived “silly” decision. If you analyse how you behave, you may be thinking in either of these 3 scenarios
Self-Blame
Perhaps I should not have chosen; therefore the disastrous outcome can be avoided. I am inept in making such a decision because I have never encountered such a problem.
3rd Party: Blame
Perhaps if I have listened to my mother I would have made a better decision ( pls replace mother with friend / anyone where you think is appropriate)
Outcome Blame :
Perhaps someone up there wants it to happen that way. i.e Spiritual Reasoning.The outcome did not turn out to be your expectation based on your decision but due to external factors .A higher being is controlling the destiny; leave it to Him to decide for you.
Such thought processes only leave us in a never ending loop question of oneself's ability to make decision and fearing the worst for the outcome.
Decision is defined as the act of making up your mind about something and outcome is defined as something that results.
It makes perfect sense to note that, based on this definition, an outcome is a result of decision but if you analyse our thinking we decide based on the outcomes.
During the process of decision we may have this thought that we feel like doing this, or because my gut feel knows that… therefore I know. You may not be aware that when you say you feel you actually think. You think of the outcome to make your decision.
Still not convinced? If you pay attention to yourself, there are more than millions of processes happening without you knowing. How many times have you sucked in air through your nostrils today? Not being aware of sucking in air ..does not equate to lungs not sucking.
You may have fondly heard of the term sub-conscious mind. This is the other special ability that all mammals have. The central nervous system that controls most of the vital processes of our organs leaving decision making processes to us, the conscious mind. What happens when your decision is generated from your subconscious mind? Answer: Gut feel.
Since I have established the fact that decision is inadvertently being generated by thinking on the outcome and outcome is something in the future and we are not granted the ability to predict the future, we will never be able to make the right decision or the forbidden wrong decision. So, how do we ensure that choice/ decision that we make is correct? I can’t seem to find an answer despite numerous nights of thinking of a formula or method that can aid us make the right decision. After much searching, I came to a conclusion that there is no correct way. A friend once like to use the term in colloquial Malaysian-English RIGHT or LEFT to mean correct or wrong.
I adamantly still argue that there is no Right or Wrong decision but RIGHT or LEFT decision ( borrowing the term- thanks) No matter what choice you make or decision you have decided, there can never be a right decision due to the inability to see the future or change outcome. Since we can’t influence our decision or outcome, what can we do? This is when we need to realize this and stop thinking what if and why we make decision or why outcomes become the way it is.
Dont think WHY think HOW ..
I am a firm believer of adaptation and survival of the fittest. Adaptation is vital to continue surviving. When humans interact/ socialize we adapt to the situation, a sane being will not crack jokes or try to be funny in a funeral despite the fact that he enjoys doing so; unless its from a special request and this becomes intentional. You don’t just jump into a pool fully clothed for your swimming sessions.
You adapt and conform to rules and regulations hence you change into your swim gear. We are very capable of adapting , we adapt subconsciously, we adapt without thinking because we have the cognitive skill to do so. We are trained to adapt. We only need to apply this skill in situation where our sanity may be compromised by an event that is deemed traumatic enough. All we really need to is to be aware that we are capable of making adaptation BUT NOT decision, and if we keep a conscious effort to remember this, we will be able to adapt.
No one can teach you how to adapt, this article merely serves as pointers on how you can invoke your pre-learned adaptation skills to the situation.
No one can teach you because you know best !
Stop asking why and start thinking how you can adapt.
