Thursday, September 10, 2009

new location

Dear readers,
I will be moving all posts to
Please check the new site in the future.
Thank you for reading

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Accepting life's challenges

A walking limp, a dragging feet, a struggling pace.

Some of us empathised with the sufferer. Some, ignores the apparent.
Those who empathised but can walk freely does not truly understand how the sufferer feels.Those who disregard will suffer from ignorance.

We truly do not know the extend of suffrage a person with a medical condition or a permanent disability has to endure. Task that seem easy to normal adults are arduous for them.

When we empathised, do we imagine that we are them so that we can "feel" the same way or do we just offer pleasantries and hold doors.
The victims of such condition do not take the disability easily especially if they are inflicted during their adult life.

Comparing that to a child, who is born with the disability, they seem to accept it as we accept the mole that is on our face.

How do we then discern the difference? Facial and body expression speaks more than the flick of a tongue.

I have come across post stroke victim age 19 who blames his maker for the pain and humiliation he is enduring. His physical appearance betrayed the fact that he had a stroke before. Movement is as normal as any 19 year old, speech is fine, but his cognitive skill is impaired. He is unable to process information that requires process recalls and has a laggard ability to solve problems. Memorizing facts such as names and phone numbers is a task he has to struggle with. Other than that, all seems normal on the outlook. His ability to interact with others is perfect but his emotional center is skewered towards impatience.

The impatience stems from his anger and frustration. The fuel for his anger is the condition that he is suffering. Being once a believer he has turned agnostic. Cursing at his ill fate for a 19 year old strapping lad, he demeans himself with anger and impatience.

Both are potent poison that continue fueling his detachment from the rest. The self imposed exile has cost him his ability to seek happiness and acceptance of his condition.

His DANTIAN has been severely disturbed by the presence of negativity.

Knowing this and wanting to help, I listened. Listened to his pent up frustrations and anger. Why was he the chosen one?

I replied.

"You are not chosen- you are a victim of circumstances- no one chose you- it is like another random event that happen and it so happens to be you. You have got to ACCEPT it whether you like it or you don't. You can choose to be angry for the rest of your life or you can choose to live life to the fullest."

"Your ability to even communicate to me, proofed to me that you are on the path to recovery- the brain will regenerate- the blood vessels and nerve connections will find a way - just as how complex bearing a child to childbirth may be- a child can still be born."

"From air exchanges through umblical cord to breathing in open space- a newborn adjust to changes and accepts the environment- for they know they cant change the inevitable. The umblical cord that is severed signifies the freedom and independence to live on your own."

"Learning to breath, learning to eat, first steps of survival. Learning to walk, learning to talk are next steps to interaction. Learning to fall, learning to get up. Everyday, growing and learning- such is the nature and the quest of a baby. Why do we as adults then; stop.. learning?"

"EMBRACE the problem- TACKLE the inadequacies- ACCEPT the changes"

"Once you have gain acceptance, you may then find the center, the root of your anger. Extinguishing this anger will open your eyes to the blessings you are having."

After having said that, he walked away...

No one can help him, only himself can walk the path and seek his own DANTIAN...

Life itself is full of struggle, from coming out of the womb to fighting with old age. Accept life challenges as you accept the first breath of air..

"One feel no pain by merely looking at the needle- the pain starts as it pierces the flesh"

Friday, November 09, 2007

Is THE SECRET by Rhonda Byrne related to Buddha's Dharma?

If you chose to read this article, I have succeeded in achieving what I wanted !
Get more readers to read.

If you have read or watched The Secret , you will probably be smiling right now - and that has helped me achieve my second objective: - Making You Smile.

It seems that The LAW OF ATTRACTION is working its cosmic effect to attract you to read this article.

So, how does the law of attraction work?

The message from "The Secret" is simple but yet difficult to fully comprehend. The message simply states that the Law of Attraction exist. The world do revolves around you. If you wish and believe hard enough; your wishes will be granted.

If you crystallize the message from "The Secret" it will just simply mean:-
Think Positively and Positive Actions will follow; therefore desired results will be achieved.

The producer is also clever to add caveat to "The Secret" that the desired outcome may not always materialise and the prediction of when it does can never be anticipated.

But, if one truly believes the power prescribed by "The Secret" one will never complain when the wishes do not materialise and shall remain ever wishful that someday it will happen !

And that sets "The Secret" as a truly powerful tool that may shape life. The power of Optimism and Positivism.

In the Secret, a mention of gratitude is embedded in its message and this; I feel is the most important message of all. No doubt, the movie encourages one to think positively and act positively with pure optimism. I believe such actions set a person in the right path to achieve their heart's desire.

By undergoing the wishing process, the mind is trained to perceive the endpoint and the actions required to achieve it. Subconsciously, one will be programmed to achieve it through a series of action that one may not even realise. Piecing the act together subconsciously draws one closer to the endpoint. To illustrate this, how often do we realise that we are breathing? Fact is we do.

Our brain is hard wired to perform vital functions and hence when we program our brain to think positive, we will act positively. This has been mentioned many times in Buddha's Dharma on being mindful of all actions and creating wholesome thoughts to gain insights and wisdom.

The phenomena of POSITIVITY breeds POSITIVITY is more evidently seen in children (due to less inhibition and the non existence of grownup's egoistic facade). To put a case in point, a child who shares toys or food are usually the more popular kid than those who hide and sulk all day.

During the application of the law of attraction, one may lose sight of one's current situation and become more lost in their own pursuit especially if the impatience sets in and cravings to achieve arises.

The mind then become attached to the need for achieving the objectives and very often the case, the harder the chase the slower it comes to them.


This is a point worth noting and again Buddha's Dharma has predicted this to occur. Desires, lust and passion leads to craving. Craving leads to sufferings. After all, we may achieve the goals and dreams in the end but it will be impermanent. This needs to be understood because no one lives forever and everything is impermanent.
Craving for more equates to GREED and in all major religions, GREED is a verb that is shun by all. Bible has warned against GREED and so has the Dharma.

I do not think that The Secret producer is trying to spread greed but the message may be misinterpreted. There are much emphasis placed in the movie on the Aladdin and the genie scene. In its context, the genie signifies the universe and the boy- you.

The scene depicts that the wish of an individual will be granted if one understood & apply the law of attraction. In the story, the boy’s wishes are unlimited unlike the conventional Aladdin story which is limited to 3. A possible misinterpretation may arise that it is good to wish for more. Hence, this will lead to greed and cravings.

All humans have the innate ability to find a solution to live better. After all, we are averse to pain and suffering, hence motivating us to avoid all unpleasant experiences. The constant need to source for better job, partner, relationship etc will be present and at times greed is a strong motivating factor to achieve it.

With gratitude, one can be easily filled with content and the need to achieve more may not arise. Therefore, GRATITUDE is an utmost important virtue to have. By being thankful and grateful to what we already have, we will keep the cravings at bay.

Is The Secret related to Buddha's Dharma ?

A strong resounding YES. In fact, I believe that Buddha understood the secret much earlier and knew of the negative implications that may arise from achieving without keeping a check and balance on cravings and greed.

Without doubt, Positive thinking projects positivity and draws positive results. However, one has to remain mindful on being GRATEFUL. With that, HAPPINESS surely entails. After all, the goal of most human is in the pursuit of Happiness.

Quotes from THE SECRED DVD :-

“So you want to become aware of your thoughts, you want to choose your thoughts carefully and you want to have fun with this, because you are the masterpiece of your own life. You are the Michelangelo of your own life. The David that you are sculpting is you. And you do it with your thoughts." ~Joe Vitale~

“You end up attracting to you the predominant thoughts that you are holding in your awareness. Whether those thoughts are conscious or they’re unconscious.”~Rev. Michael Beckwith~

Buddha's teachings (Dhammapada) placed strong emphasis on the need to free the mind from unwholesome negative thoughts and to cultivate positive thinking. What is astounding to note is that his teachings have a far greater insights to the pitfalls of craving and ignoring gratitude.

Some examples of Buddha's Dharma:-

"We are shaped by our thoughts, we become what we think. When the mind is pure, joy follows like a shadow that never leaves"

"Beset by craving, people run about like an entrapped hare. Held fast by mental fetters, they come to suffering again and again for a long time. Therefore, one who yearns to be passion-free should destroy his own craving."

"There is no fire like lust and no crime like hatred. There is no ill like the aggregates of existence and no bliss higher than the peace of Nibbana"

In the pursuit of goals and dreams, let us all be careful of the pitfalls of lust and craving, failure to note these unwholesome thoughts will bring one greater unhappiness than what the law of attraction can offer on one's plate.

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

When you say you actually think

“I wished I knew. I wished I knew what the outcome of things will be, before I even decide. The choice I make and its outcome is important for I need the outcome to fuel my desire to continue my grand plans. My attachment towards an outcome is immense, for I thrive and I live to see the outcome, my reason for living. "

If we were to analyse our decision making concept , you will find that we think on the after-effects(outcomes) of the decision and hence this influences one's choice in deciding to choose the path that one will take. So in a nutshell, we decide based on outcomes and eventually an outcome will become an event and an event will eventually become a fact- unfortunately facts cannot be changed.

What do you do when the outcome does not come to your liking or is not close to your expectation?

Lament over it?

Wished you never had made that decision ? Wished that the outcome can change?

Outcomes can’t be changed, we merely adapt to it and make it easier to live with the issue hence making the unbearable situation a "soft landing” Since the outcome cannot be changed, we often blame our perceived “silly” decision. If you analyse how you behave, you may be thinking in either of these 3 scenarios

Perhaps I should not have chosen; therefore the disastrous outcome can be avoided. I am inept in making such a decision because I have never encountered such a problem.

3rd Party: Blame
Perhaps if I have listened to my mother I would have made a better decision ( pls replace mother with friend / anyone where you think is appropriate)

Outcome Blame :
Perhaps someone up there wants it to happen that way. i.e Spiritual Reasoning.The outcome did not turn out to be your expectation based on your decision but due to external factors .A higher being is controlling the destiny; leave it to Him to decide for you.

Such thought processes only leave us in a never ending loop question of oneself's ability to make decision and fearing the worst for the outcome.

Decision is defined as the act of making up your mind about something and outcome is defined as something that results.

It makes perfect sense to note that, based on this definition, an outcome is a result of decision but if you analyse our thinking we decide based on the outcomes.

During the process of decision we may have this thought that we feel like doing this, or because my gut feel knows that… therefore I know. You may not be aware that when you say you feel you actually think. You think of the outcome to make your decision.

Still not convinced? If you pay attention to yourself, there are more than millions of processes happening without you knowing. How many times have you sucked in air through your nostrils today? Not being aware of sucking in air ..does not equate to lungs not sucking.

You may have fondly heard of the term sub-conscious mind. This is the other special ability that all mammals have. The central nervous system that controls most of the vital processes of our organs leaving decision making processes to us, the conscious mind. What happens when your decision is generated from your subconscious mind? Answer: Gut feel.

Since I have established the fact that decision is inadvertently being generated by thinking on the outcome and outcome is something in the future and we are not granted the ability to predict the future, we will never be able to make the right decision or the forbidden wrong decision. So, how do we ensure that choice/ decision that we make is correct? I can’t seem to find an answer despite numerous nights of thinking of a formula or method that can aid us make the right decision. After much searching, I came to a conclusion that there is no correct way. A friend once like to use the term in colloquial Malaysian-English RIGHT or LEFT to mean correct or wrong.

I adamantly still argue that there is no Right or Wrong decision but RIGHT or LEFT decision ( borrowing the term- thanks) No matter what choice you make or decision you have decided, there can never be a right decision due to the inability to see the future or change outcome. Since we can’t influence our decision or outcome, what can we do? This is when we need to realize this and stop thinking what if and why we make decision or why outcomes become the way it is.

Dont think WHY think HOW ..

I am a firm believer of adaptation and survival of the fittest. Adaptation is vital to continue surviving. When humans interact/ socialize we adapt to the situation, a sane being will not crack jokes or try to be funny in a funeral despite the fact that he enjoys doing so; unless its from a special request and this becomes intentional. You don’t just jump into a pool fully clothed for your swimming sessions.

You adapt and conform to rules and regulations hence you change into your swim gear. We are very capable of adapting , we adapt subconsciously, we adapt without thinking because we have the cognitive skill to do so. We are trained to adapt. We only need to apply this skill in situation where our sanity may be compromised by an event that is deemed traumatic enough. All we really need to is to be aware that we are capable of making adaptation BUT NOT decision, and if we keep a conscious effort to remember this, we will be able to adapt.

No one can teach you how to adapt, this article merely serves as pointers on how you can invoke your pre-learned adaptation skills to the situation.

No one can teach you because you know best !
Stop asking why and start thinking how you can adapt.

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

My hero - The Little Green Geriatric Alien

Have you noticed that heroes are always predominantly male?

Batman, Spiderman, Superman.Not only does the suffix end with man; a strong denotation of male but they are usually protrayed with rippling muscles and disproportionately huge limbs.

There are occasionally only a few well known heroines in the comic world, but their fame is not as far reached or as memorable as male heroes (Ultra feminist group should start lobbying for equal sexual rights in this hero business.)Lets cite the case of a deprecated heroine; Wonder Woman, the all American girl with star spangled panties that was created in 1941 by Dr William Marston; a psychologist; for DC comics.

She first appeared in All Star Comics #8 (launched not in self title- a pity) and subsequently featured on Super Friends in the 70s & 80s with her sidekicks Wendy & Marvin and Wonderdog, none of whom had any special abilities (unless one counts the dog's unexplained ability to "talk" and reason)Super Friends also consisted of Batman, Superman & Aquaman.

Wonder woman did not stand a chance in these series and was shadowed by the obviously more favourable Batman & Superman.Before achieving extinction, her creators relaunched her in Justice League in 2000s ( minus the silliness of sidekicks and talking pets);yet another coalition of superheroes but not as a stand alone character !

From the comic standpoint she did not gain much grounds; however on National TV, she was made to shine by an ex-beauty queen, Lynda Carter from 1975 to 1979 until her fame fizzles away.

In this new millennium, with feminist rights gaining popularity, a new culture has emerged-Girl Power.This culture is spreading like wild fire and is evidently seen on TV; from the busty dominatrix Xena to violent little girls called Power Puff Girls who has death proclaiming stares !

This culture is here to stay and film producers are churning out more movies based on “kick-ass” female heroine who saves the day (i.e Alias ) to feed the masses.That leaves the once male dominated job of saving the world in the silver screen open to equal opportunity for females. Feminist group may still proclaim that female form is still being exploited due to the scarcely clad heroine. Besides, heroine have skin tight suits that has never failed to capture attention. In fact, that was the whole intention by the producers; to make it marketable and cater to the taste. You want women – you’ve got it- bigger and bolder.

With such confusion over which sex the hero /heroine should be, I would rather choose a nonhuman hero.

I am pleased to introduce to you my extra terrestrial hero -The Little Green Geriatric Alien.

He has been the much sought after personality who wins with brains and not entirely with brawn; that is because he has hardly any brawn to begin with.

Not sure who I am talking about ? I will leave you with more clues.He resembles Professor X in X-Men not in physical stature or resemblance but his ability to have psychic abilities, he resembles a pilgrim with strong knowledge of his religion and who has seen it all, he resembles the guru who has knowledge and wisdom normally depicted as a sage who lives in seclusion away from the unwelcome.

With this, I hope I have accomplished painting the picture of my hero as a graying old man who resembles Gandalf (LOTR); except that my hero is in serious need of hair.

He has distinguishable characteristics; a tuft of hair that is snowy white, 3 fingers and is only 2 ft 1 inch. With frown lines running across the forehead, there is no mistake that this is the person you trust for answers when you ask questions. If by now you still can’t figure out who this person is; you must have not been living on Earth. It goes by the title Master and is the beacon of the Jedis.Master Yoda, the unassuming creature from the unknown kingdom or species, has a mysterious character that can never be unravelled, just like its unfathomable knowledge.

From research , I have gathered that he was one of the Jedi Masters who ran the mobile academy aboard the starship Chu'unthor, and he left the ship's data tapes in the care of one of the natives when the ship crashed on Dathomir. (Star Wars: The Courtship of Princess Leia)

Although seemingly frail, Master Yoda demonstrates a mastery of lightsaber combat, known for drawing heavily on the Force to achieve extreme acrobatics. Yoda has demonstrated once and for all that size does not matter- another reason to be worshipped as hero.

Master Yoda is the most orthodox amongst the jedi, he upkeeps and reminds the jedi of the ideals of the order and staying in the good side of the Force. He does this effortlessly and manages to throw in some mischief and practical jokes. Master Yoda is also well known for his quirky sentence structure with object,subject and verb format; almost like the grammar structure of Japanese language. I suppose the creator of Yoda has in mind a wise Japanese sage when he created this character which is the core of the Star Wars storyline.

MasterYoda’s unassuming mannerism and soft spoken approach soothes the listener and often leave them intrigued with his statement. His approach to decision making and remarks made are quite in line with what Buddhism preaches. Take for example, “ Fear, hate and anger will lead to the dark side”. Explained in Buddist meaning, harbouring evil thoughts and intentions are going against the Buddha Dharma (Buddha’s Teaching) and will lead to bad karma.

Master Yoda constantly reminds his protégé to avoid falling to the lure of the dark side and he often reminded them to control their mind. Controlling one’s mind is similar to seeking for inner peace and achieving enlightment as a Buddhist. In fact, the very term of light vs dark has strong connotation that Yoda or the Jedis in general were Buddhist monks who are trained to upkeep Dharma equivalent to the Shaolin monks; but armed with light sabers instead.

Light Side of the Force is constantly mentioned in Star Wars as in Enlightment in Buddhism, it simply means awakening of the mind and seeking to know the truth. Jedis also meditate to seek the truth and Jedis do not die; they simply become the force; as demonstrated in the ability of Obi-Wan to revive and teach young Luke.

Buddhist seek enlightment through meditation and their actions determine their karma. The most frequently mentioned term, Force as you can easily decipher simply means Karma. Going to the Dark force is attaining bad karma and staying in the Light side is practicing what Jedi / Buddhism preaches.

If we were to analyse Star Wars, we see that evil is triumphant until the very last episode where the root of evil is wiped out. I assume that many innocent lives were lost in the war and much suffering heard and unheard of is present. All this can be simply avoided if the real root of evil did not turn evil.

Anakin’s passsion to learn the dark side in order to revive his wife, demonstrates his lust and desire for power and selfishness. He strives to achieve his own goals and through this he has become ignorant to the truth and became an accomplice in the murder of Mace Windu which he later regrets.That was just the beginning of the immense suffering that awaits him.

Anakin is also extremely attached to the notion of his wife’s death which is inevitable. Despite knowing that being a turncoat there are no guarantee that he can bring back his dead wife, he still seek to try his luck; his logic probably drowned by his big fat ego (The Chosen One) .

In one scene, he is so blinded by his lust for power that Anakin chokes his wife and became highly suspicious and jealous over her loyalty and trust.As described in the dharma, strong attachmetnt only brings suffering. The story of Anakin and his wife is a clear example of this strong attachment.

Having awareness instead of attachment is the key to avoid darkening thoughts of attachment.The alluring Dark Side exist not only in Star Wars but here on earth in us. Every decision we make is capable of affecting the outcome of a situation. The path that we choose determines our fate and karma.In the words of Master Yoda, the Dark Side is not actually more powerful, but only quicker and more seductive. It can also be taxing to the body, as evidenced by Palpatine’s appearance by the time of Return Of The jedi.

Anakin could have simply avoided the insidious trap of suffering; but his ego and lust (tanha) for power and selfishness led him to the dark side. He could have chosen wisely and avoid suffering by choosing to follow the Noble Eightfold Path.( Buddhadharma; Dharma means law, doctrine, truth)

1. Right Understanding
2. Right Thought
3. Right Speech
4. Right Action
5. Right Livelihood
6. Right Effort
7. Right Mindfulness
8. Right Concentration

Which coincidentally is rather similar to Jedi’s Code :-
  • There is no emotion, there is peace.
  • There is no ignorance, there is knowledge.
  • There is no passion, there is serenity.
  • There is no chaos, there is harmony.
  • There is no death, there is the Force.

—The Jedi Code (Based on the meditations of Odan-Urr)

Lets study an excerpt from the conversation of

Episode I: The Phantom Menace

YODA: Fear is the path to the dark side... fear leads to anger... anger leads to hate.. hate leads to suffering. ( All the Noble Eightfold Path which is in Buddhadharma)

Anakin : What’s that got to do with anything? ( Ignorance)

YODA : Eveything. Fear is the path to the dark side... fear leads to anger... anger leads to hate.. hate leads to suffering.

ANAKIN : I am not afraid! ( More ignorance)

YODA : A Jedi must have the deepest commitment, the most serious mind. I sense much fear in you. ( Right concentration- Noble Eightfold Path)This phenomenon is already described in the Dharma (law, doctrine, truth); the 4 Noble Truth and Noble Eightfold Path.

Unfortunately for Anakin, he is blinded by sheer ignorance and followed the path of darkness with no return.Althought Star Wars lives in the realm of fantasy,I can assure to you that, in our daily lives we will come across people who resemble characters from Star Wars.

Master Yoda should serve as a reminder to us that we are all padawans each seeking to live our karma and making the right choices for our karma. For non Buddhists, perhaps it’s a time to view Buddhism with an open mind that Buddhism is a teaching that helps us live our life and withstand the test of time or science.

Trivia : Do you know that Yoda is derived from Yoddha, the Sanskrit word for "warrior."

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

Broken POD, separated PEAS

Friends walk in and out of your life.
There are some friends whom you wish to keep but somehow feelings may not be reciprocal.
There are some friends whom you wish you could forget, but they have managed to leave behind memories that tend to haunt you.

I firmly believe that friendship is equivalent to a relationship minus the physical intimacy, commitment and expectations. Like all other relationships, it needs nurture and commitment albeit in terms of fidelity to one another.

So when does a friendship- relationship burn out?
Is it when one stop contacting the other or sharing an activity together?

I am no expert or guru to advise on how one can keep a relationship. However, I aim to share a story with you.

I had a childhood friend once, we were neighbours, we attended the same school, shared the same classroom and had strikingly similar interests. We will make sure that we spend one weekend with each other. Despite having different faiths, our friendship was intact because when it comes to such topic, we make no comments with regards to each others' believe and this common understanding lasted.

We were like peas in a pod. Inseparable until you break the pod.

The cracking of the pod began in high school when we were put into different class. We had excuse not to meet up on weekends because our interests were influenced with our new found friends in the class. Nevertheless, we still pursued our friendship with much enthusiasm because our biggest common interest- computer games were the glue to the pod.

As we progressed in school, and time has started to become a rare commodity instead of a resource, dedicating a weekend together for computer games or cycling around the neighbourhood seems to be difficult as we have to fit in these activities in our hectic schedule.

The crack was visible. The pods were uneasy but both knew that someday, it will happen. Neither took initiative to hold the pod together.

The pod was broken when we pursued tertiary education. The peas, needless to say parted ways and was geographically separated. The peas with their new found friends were happy and content. The childhood endeavour remain as a fragment of sweet memories in the "growing up" phase of life.

Growing old and mature does take a toll on our childhood memories and the childhood memories of the peas were slowly eroding with time. Given sufficient time, sweet memories became blur and finally may only evoke some thoughts but not emotion.

The peas knew that they had to salvage whatever is left of the pod. Perhaps find ways to mend it. The challenges they faced were immense, not only are they geographically separated , their pursue in life is different. One in underwriting insurance contracts; where the value of life is measurable in dollars and cents and the other in the field of medicine where value of life is Death Itself.

The frequency of contact dwindled from everyday, when they were 10 years of age to once a quarter in their 20’s and none towards 30’s.
The peas contacted each other ONLY during special occasions i.e National Celebration, birthday, promotion, or other common friends’ wedding / their special occasions ( i.e. newborn etc).

One fateful year, in their late 20s the pea who has been trying hard to salvage the pod decided to NOT make initiatives to call the other pea during special occasions; instead this pea thought that keeping silence was a way to test the other pea’s commitment towards their pod. True enough, the other pea did not seem to mind at all and silence was what they experienced. Years passed, and this lingered.

The situation has now transformed into a game of keeping silence, with the rule that which ever pea starts communication should be deemed the lose. One pea is too jaded to make calls and the other simply did not bother.

After all, to some who is fond to say “absence makes the heart grow fonder” I would say in this case its a classic “out of sight- out of mind”

So what happened to a 20 year old relationship ? What will become of these “poor” peas without a pod? Certainly one pea craved and longed for the pod they used to share. After all, its beyond the computer games or cycling, it’s the intimacy of thoughts that were shared. It’s the emotional support /guidance one obtained from the other and vice versa.

Very often this pea felt guilty that perhaps he should have give in. After all, it was he who has stopped taking the initiative. Perhaps, he should have stopped the seasonal communication and made it a weekly affair despite finding a lot of difficulties to keep the conversation going.

Keeping the conversation going was what tire this pea out, he has attempted numerously to bring in a topic of interest but somehow the other pea gave lukewarm response. The other pea, obviously has a different taste of hobbies now.

What came as the rudest shock was the news of the other pea getting married. The news came from other friends and not his pea friend. This pea was obviously flustered with anger and disappointment. He thought that the rules of the silent game was meant to be broken especially when it comes to marriage which is deemed the TOP NEWS !

This pea felt that the sharing of their pod meant nothing. All these years of friendship, with their share of “growing pains” with emotional roller-coaster experiences and both academic & social interests seemed like a vivid dream . Indeed, now its just a dream, never able to be relived again.

This pea now has to make a decision, to congratulate the other pea and subject the other pea to immense guilt with his action. On hind thoughts, perhaps the other pea is no longer capable of feeling guilty. After all the other pea does not owe this pea anything let alone guild or remorse.

*After much procrastination, this pea decided to be “the loser” and made a call to the other pea. The other pea was ecstatic to hear from this pea. They started with serious conversation and gradually moved on to their life and adding references of past events. Their monotonous conversation broke out with laughter and giggles with every mention of the glorious past. The call was great, much more than he has anticipated for.
(That should be how a heart warming, politically correct story should end. However, this was not the outcome.)

*After much procrastination, this pea decided to be “the loser” and made a call to the other pea. The other pea answered the call with cold and short answers. This pea felt lost, he needed a beacon in his conversation, he moved the topic to the other peas’ wedding and expected an invitation to attend. To his surprise, the other pea informed this pea, that all is well and he is now a married man. In fact he is expecting to be a father soon. This pea was flabbergasted and felt tongue tied, he knew not how to continue the conversation except for the generic pleasantries “GREAT NEWS” & “CONGRATULATIONS”

This pea felt that he could have called earlier, perhaps he should have taken action much earlier. He should not be calculative and be particular over who should call first. Zooming back in time, perhaps all is not lost- pod is not lost – if this pea gave more initiatives to mend the pod !

The 2 endings highlighted the possibility of different outcomes, similarly no matter what this pea does or did, the outcome could be positive or negative- pod stays intact or shattered into pieces too fragmented to be glued black.

No matter what the outcome could be, it will definitely require 2 parties to work, after all friendship is a relationship. It requires input , output and maintenance.

As for this pea, he has learn a lesson, mend the pod before it breaks..

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

Achieving Ecstacy

Someone once asked me a simple yet difficult to answer question.
"Are you happy ?"

I immediately replied the question with yet another question.

What are you refering to? My current state? Financial/ social status?

She simply smiled and then repeated her question stressing on the word "YOU"
Well, to answer that question.. I guess I lost more than my brain cells..I lost track of myself.

I was enveloped in immediate despair as I tried to think about all my current status, be it social , financial, family, love etc..
At that point of time my brain was too busy processing that I lost track of time.

The minute of silence from me seemed to make my friend bathe in pride because she had found a simple question that made me struggled for an answer because to her I seem to have every answer to her inquisitive challenges.

She seemed to be enjoying herself watching me suffer the mental block
Every second that pass seemed like an eternity as I still fought to keep track of my mental process.

I replied , " Well I am content but not exactly happy"

Her sheepish smile returned and said," So , when will you ever be happy ?"

"Achieveing my goals in my life"

At that instant I realised that I am the master of my goals since I set them therefore I should be the master of my destiny because I make choices to fulfil the goals or decide to change them.

If this holds true, then its perfectly logical to be content with life and BE HAPPY.. but why do I feel I seek to find happiness ?

One simple question and I am beleaguered with many more unexplainable questions.
I should be content and happy but yet why am I Not?
How can I then shape goals to make happiness?
Failing which ..How do I pretend to be happy ?
Is there such thing as happiness?

I took the question as my research assignment topic and where better to seek answers than to seek spiritual guidance.

From the word of GOD,
Even in laughter the heart is sad, and the end of joy is grief (Proverbs 14:13; RSV).
The more we "expand our consciousness" of reality, the more we experience sorrow.

For in much wisdom is much grief: and he that increaseth knowledge increaseth sorrow (Ecclesiastes 1:18; KJV).
Yet there is some value in sorrow. It tends to make us more serious, and life is best taken seriously. The wise do not let themselves forget that sorrow is a natural part of this life, and every man's earthly happiness ends in the tragedy of death.

It is better to go to the house of mourning, than to go to the house of feasting: for that is the end of all men; and the living will lay it to his heart. Sorrow is better than laughter: for by the sadness of the countenance the heart is made better. The heart of the wise is in the house of mourning; but the heart of fools is in the house of mirth (Ecclesiastes 7:2-4; KJV).

Feelings of joy and sorrow, pleasure and pain, are used to promote wisdom and to encourage righteous living. Justly applied, they can be powerful and effective sources of feedback regarding the consequences of actions. But justice does not always prevail in this life, and sometimes the consequences of actions seem to reward sin and punish godliness, thus encouraging more evil.

But shoudl we feel..that if I am not too sad today compared to yesterday,I should be happier than yesterday. Sounds logical, but what is TRUE HAPPINESS ?

I proceeded to seek some wise advice from a great being who was one of us, who shared the same fate as us on this earth, someone who dedicated the rest of his life to live in improvished condition to seek answers to hapiness. About 2500 years ago, Siddhartha Gautama discovered how to bring happiness into the world.
(To learn more:

In his teachings ; Dhamma, Siddharta once emphasised that happiness can be achieved if you practice buddhism and its way of life following the noble eightfold paths and three jewels.

"There is happiness in life, happiness in friendship, happiness of a family, happiness in a healthy body and mind, ...but when one loses them, there is suffering." Dhammapada
(To learn more

It seems so simplistic like the question that started this whole blog... it makes perfect sense that our life is govern by many external factors and family, frienship our state of well being (physical and mental) contributes to our contentment and hence hapiness.

I have yet to master his teachings let alone practice it, however like many chinese scholar who has said and meant .. "A journey of a thousand miles begin with the first step."

I intend to learn more and perhaps the TRUTH is out there. Perhaps the TRUTH is in Dhammapada.

Whatever the TRUTH may be I intend to seek it..but in the meantime, I will try to be happy or very least be content with what I have for now.

Monday, March 28, 2005



Physical Definition: The point of balance, one's center point
Scientific Definition: Center of gravity
Alternate Definition:
Martial & Spiritual Definition: The center where ki energy is generated or dissipitated
Physical Location: 1 inch below navel at the torso

Mental Definition: Thought generating center
Physical Location: Brain; Hippocampus

When one is evoked by provocative thoughts, one tends to seek an answer or resolve in an action. With the ability to analyse facts and applying knowlege, one can provide an explanation or resolution.